How do I deal with this unplanned pregnancy?
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, thinking about anything else may be impossible. You are trying to make decisions about your future, which all point back to choices about your pregnancy. You have a choice to terminate the pregnancy through abortion or to continue the pregnancy.
If your decision is to continue your pregnancy, you have a few immediate choices: raise the child as a single parent, raise the baby as a couple, have your parents raise the child, have the birth father or his parents raise the child, or place the baby for adoption.
Take plenty of time to weigh all the options before you make a decision. Here are five steps to help you make this decision:
1) Make a list of all the possible choices you have.
2) Ask yourself questions like these:
- What do I want to do in the future?
- What am I good at? What talents do I have?
- What job skills do I have right now?
- Do I want to have a career or just work to pay bills?
- Can I rely on another person to support me?
- If I have to accept public assistance, do I feel comfortable with this?
- How do I feel about abortion now?
- If I choose abortion, how might that affect my self-esteem in the future?
- Is my decision one that I can feel comfortable about sharing with my parents and friends?
- Would someone close to me be against my choice of abortion, adoption or parenting? How would I deal with this?
- What are my feelings about adoption?
- If I choose adoption, what qualities would I want the adoptive parents to have?
- How much contact would I want to have with the adoptive family in the future?
- Do I want to be a parent now?
- Am I ready to take care of a baby 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
- How will this affect my social life and my relationship with my friends?
- If I keep the baby, where will we live?
- How does the father of the baby feel about the pregnancy?
- Will I be raising my child alone?
- How will I support myself and my child?
3) Learn everything you can about your choices
Learn everything you can about your choices to help you explore the positive and negative points about each choice. Ask people you trust to help you see all sides of each choice.
The decision you have to make about your pregnancy is a very personal one. Getting support and advice from others may be very helpful in looking at every aspect of each choice, but don’t let anyone pressure you into making a decision that you’re not comfortable with.
4) Put your choices in order from most favorable to least favorable.
5) Explore your feelings and listen to your heart.
The decision you have to make about your pregnancy is a very personal one. Whatever choice you make, it is very important to be seen by a doctor as soon as possible.