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CHOICES Families

The following are some families with whom CHOICES has had the pleasure of helping with adoptions from China.

Doreen, Alan, Ian and Ben

The road of life has many twists and turns. Who would have thought that a posting on a Yahoo group could have sent us reeling down a totally unexpected road. In November of 2005 I had been casually reading the postings on the internet when one caught my eye. There was a posting about a 21 month old boy whose file was with FOI and he needed a family. Our file was already in China for a non special needs child but I had been interested in the waiting child program for a while. I called FOI and they said we could easily switch programs. My brain started thinking, we already have a 4 year old boy, and wouldn't it be nice to have two boys? Wouldn't his age fit in nicely with our family?

Wait a minute, I already had baby girl clothes hanging in the closet and we painted the room mauve! My brain continued to argue with itself, what does that matter, this little boy needs a family and we need a little boy. We spent a frantic week researching his special need which is a cleft lip and palate and decided that this was something we could definitely handle. This little guy deserved a chance and his picture tugged at our hearts. So, we filled in a bunch more paperwork and took a sharp right turn.

On March 27, 2006 we met a scared little boy in a government office in Kunming. We were the only family there that day so it wasn't the chaotic, noisy scenario I had read about. When he came in, all I could say was, "oh my, isn't he cute!" I signed whatever pieces of paper they put in front of me because I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. By the end of the day's paperwork he was running around the office chasing his big brother and laughing, we already felt like a family.

We have been home now for almost two weeks and what a smart, healthy, happy little boy Ben is! Our biggest adjustment so far seems to be that I have forgotten what it is like to have a two year old in the house, the poor cat is still trying to find a safe spot to sleep! Our incredible journey continues down life's twisting path.

Doreen, Alan, Ian and Ben
Nanaimo BC

You can contact Doreen & Alan if you have any questions about their adoption experience.

Mike & Louise

A few years had passed since we last talked about having a family. We had temporarily shifted our plans and had decided to travel and move from Montreal to Vancouver, then Victoria. In the summer of 2004, one of our dear friends surprised us with the news of her plans to adopt. It didn't take too long after that for us to discuss adoption for ourselves and we quickly embraced the idea.

There were so many countries to choose from. Kazakhstan, China, Nepal, Russia, etc. When we started looking into the requirements for these countries, quite a few of them became off limit, mostly due to the requirements for marital status. Which country is open to common law couples? Well, none that we qualified for. So off to the chapel we went.

We decided to adopt from China for a couple of reasons. First because of the basic requirements we had to meet, and second because of the maturity of the program. Adoption in China has been going on for years and is very stable with little or no surprises.

This would prove to be true for us in the end. From the moment we received our login date to the moment we landed back in Canada with little Jade, things went smoothly.

We received our proposal in September 2005 and as soon as we saw the picture of her posing for the camera at 9 months old, she was our little baby, in our mind and our heart. The following 7 weeks felt like forever. It was painful knowing our baby was in an orphanage and we wanted her out of there desperately. The countdown was on.

We flew to Hong Kong on October 28, 2005 and then bussed to Guangdong (3½ hours) on October 30th where we would be united. We were fifteen couples, who traveled together from Canada, in a room of the provincial adoption office, and the babies were being brought in after a 3 hour bus ride from the orphanage. Louise and I had decided it would be best not to freak her out and fought off our emotions the best we could when the nurse put little Jade (then known as Li Fen) in our arms. I'm sure it was difficult on the children and we thought it best to be subdued during the hand-over for the sake of the child. Jade was very brave during the experience. Her mommy and daddy were not so brave, but somehow managed to stay composed - for a few minutes. The whole experience was captured on video and filed under the-best-moment-of-our-lives.

Jade has adapted very well. She had her 1st birthday in our care our first week back home. At Christmas, she loved playing with the wrapping paper, bows and gift boxes. She eventually moved on to play with the toys too. She's a little dynamo we can hardly keep up with. And when she goes to bed at night, we miss her terribly and can't wait to see her again in the morning.

The whole experience, complete with drama, comedy, excitement, jubilation and love is beyond words. I can't begin to express how the love transforms a life, a person. Jade is a gift we appreciate and love every minute of our lives.

You can contact Louise & Mike if you have any questions about their adoption experience.

Sandy & Dominic

Our journey to Bailey started in the spring of 2003. We both had an interest in adoption, and had many discussions on the topic over our time together. We considered ourselves very fortunate to be in this beautiful country, safe and snug in our own home, with two wonderful, healthy birth children. We felt a strong pull toward international adoption, and first looked into adopting from the Philippines. As Dominic is originally from the Philippines, we had some background knowledge of the conditions there for many children, and we thought giving a loving home to even one child could make a small difference. We soon found we did not fit the criteria for an adoption from the Philippines, due to our lack of affiliation with a church, and the fact that we had not been married for minimum three years (common-law was not recognized). We then decided that it really didn't matter where our little person came from, for babies everywhere are all equally deserving of a home and a family. We asked our agency where they could recommend a process that would be relatively short and straightforward. They recommended China.

Over the following months, we became more and more excited; it was a difficult wait for a proposal, but we were very busy with our other children, our jobs, and packing lists! One fine day, an absolutely huge delivery truck pulled into the driveway, and a gruff man handed me a small envelope. He seemed a little startled at my emotional reaction; "This is about our baby!" I said, hopping around with joy. He gave me a very strange look and walked away. Anyway, I had promised to wait all day for my husband to come home before opening the package. The day seemed endless. When he arrived home, we opened the package, all four of us, and saw the photos of the sweetest little Chinese girl I have ever seen. She had a big smile and even bigger eyes. I felt like I already knew her. I knew I already loved her.

From then on, the wait was more difficult for me. I felt like a part of me was across the world. I packed, repacked, and re-repacked. I was as prepared as anyone could really be, but not remotely prepared for the complete joy and amazement of meeting my new daughter for the first time. There were twelve little baby girls going to new homes, to our new friends, that day. The room was filled with joy, sadness, fear and apprehension. Everyone was in new territory. Bailey slept through it all, only to awaken, wide-eyed and shocked, as we left the room. Her big eyes looked up at me with complete confusion. She was scared and sad at first, but in a couple of short days, was giving us her award-winning smile!

The trip itself was surreal; I felt like I was living a dream; the only reality being the heartache of missing my two children at home, and again feeling like a part of me was across the world. China was beautiful, and the tours, shopping, sights, and experiences were an incredible adventure that I will never forget. But the finest moment was walking into the airport in our hometown, having my two older children run to me, holding my new little baby in my lap, and knowing that finally all our babies were together, safe and sound.

You can contact Sandy & Dominic at sandyandnikko@yahoo.ca if you have any questions about their adoption experience.

Jodi & Bob

Please contact CHOICES if you'd like to speak with Jodi & Bob about their adoption experience.